NEGATIVE THINKING

Negative thinking is one stressor over which we have control, since we can change our thoughts and we can only have one thought at a time. The key is not to try to get rid of the negative thoughts but to substitute positive thoughts for the negative ones. The reason this substitution works to relieve related stress is that thoughts are communicated to the body through chemicals and nerves, which are different for positive thoughts than negative ones. In general, negative thoughts create stress in the body; positive thoughts release chemicals that make us healthy and feel good.

The first step in dealing with negative thinking is to consciously become aware of it when it occurs. We have many automatic thoughts throughout the day, so you need to stop and listen for those negative thoughts. You can keep a diary at first to help you develop this awareness writing down the thoughts as they occur.

The next step is to "rewrite" the negative thought into a positive thought. This is the basis for the well established technique of using positive affirmations. My daughter's preschool used this positive approach when they disciplined the children. For example, they would say, "Please walk" instead of "Don't run". When faced with a problem you might tend to automatically think "Oh no . . ."; instead you could say something like "Here's another opportunity for me to grow" or "Yes, another challenge!" According to Dr. Fred Luskin the positive thoughts don't even need to be true since the body responds to the thoughts as positive. Once you have identified the positive substitute thought, remind yourself to stop the negative thought as it occurs and then substitute the positive one. This takes continuing awareness and practice so keep at it one thought at a time.

Another step is to change your perception of what you notice. For example, see the glass as half full instead of half empty. Observe your language and notice what you say to yourself and others.

Still another helpful tool in changing negative thinking is to focus on gratitude. Change your negative attitude to gratitude. Find something to be grateful for in a difficult situation. If you have lost your job and/or retirement/life savings in this difficult economy, be grateful for what you do have instead of focusing on what you have lost. We take a lot for granted that other people around the world would love, such as living in a free country, having plenty of food available, and having peace around us without military troops, bombings or civil unrest. Do you have your sight, hearing, ability to get around? Make a daily gratitude list, either mentally or in writing.

Lastly, give up complaining and grumbling. If you feel you need to complain, limit it to a minute or two and then move on to the positive.