EXPECTATIONS

Another potential self-imposed stressor is that of expectations we have of ourselves and/or others. Expectations set us up for disappointment when they aren't met. It may be helpful to identify your expectations that lead to stress and ask yourself some questions.

First, are the expectations realistic? Perhaps they are too high or unreachable or part of our perfectionism.

Second look to see if your expectations are shared with the people involved and mutually agreed upon. Others may have different values or priorities and thus might not meet your expectations.

You might also ask yourself how important the matter is to you. Perhaps you can let go of some of your expectations altogether.

Finally it is helpful to give up resentment you hold if your expectations are not met. Catherine Ponder tells of the importance of this in her saying: "When you hold resentment toward another, you are bound to that person or condition by an emotional link that is stronger than steel. Forgiveness is the only way to dissolve that link and get free."