USING STRESS MANAGEMENT TECHNIQUES IN LOSS

I recently had a major loss in my life and want to share a few related experiences. Fortunately for me I have been blessed with a lot of caring helpful people.

The social worker at the hospital told the family members that we all have our own grieving styles, which was helpful in understanding each other and in accepting our own behavior. My background has also been very helpful to me. Being able to get out of my mind and into my heart space with focus on my breathing has been very valuable.

Let me share an experience I had related to this at my church the day after our Celebration of Life service. While at church I was moved by the music leading into meditation and began to sob. My daughter and friend comforted me with their arms around me. The minister then led us into meditation with the focus being on our own breathing and letting go of thoughts. Being experienced at this, I was able to follow along and found peace following a deep exhalation and letting go. I was amazed at how quickly I could feel serene under the circumstances.

My "style" of coping, at least for now, has been to keep my thoughts occupied with all that I have to do as a result of the loss. Occasionally my thoughts take me into my story about the death, how lonely I will be, and so on. Following Eckhart Tolle's emphasis on getting out of the ego and its story, I am able to be fully in the "now" or present moment where I realize that I am safe and still have many things for which to be grateful.

I am aware of the grieving process and the need to resolve loss so as not to stuff the emotions which may later cause problems. I will remain an observer, staying in touch with my body, mind, and spirit as I resolve my grief. I also plan to use the help of others as I take care of myself during this challenging time.

I welcome any thoughts, comments or shared experiences you may wish to share on this blog. Remember, I am now posting my blog monthly but I check the site daily and will address any questions you may have in the meantime.